Damage by Eve Ainsworth

Author:Eve Ainsworth
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Scholastic UK
Published: 2017-05-05T04:00:00+00:00

CHAPTER NINE

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It’s getting worse. I can’t seem to stop. I know some of you have suggested going for a walk and stuff or listening to music, but that doesn’t help me. Not right now.

I’m a bad person. This is why. No one else would get that. A bad daughter. A bad granddaughter. I screw up everything.

I’m just here to say . . . I don’t know really. . .

I just don’t want to do this any more.

Skating is a real problem today. For one thing, both my legs are killing me, so it’s impossible to move properly. Plus I’ve barely slept. It’s like I’m lugging a dead weight around.

I choose to flop next to Amira and watch the others, feeling frustrated at how good they’re all getting. Alfie is becoming awesome. He moves so effortlessly, like a bird. He looks particularly good today in his low-slung jeans and black top. He’s getting a tan and he’s had a haircut. It’s still fairly long at the front, but you can see his eyes better. It really suits him.

“I can tell you like him. You’ve been staring at him for ages now.” Amira was lying on her front, but now pulls herself up and shuffles closer beside me. “You might as well just admit it.”

“Alfie – nah. He’s just a mate.” I look away and concentrate on Freddie instead, who’s messing about on the side of the ramp.

“Why don’t you join them? You must be itching to get out there.”

“I’ve got a stomach ache. Maybe later.”

“Ah . . . OK.”

“Anyway it’s nice sitting with you for a bit. What’ve you been writing?”

Amira laughs. “It’s rubbish.”

“I bet it’s not.”

“It is, honestly. I’m just sketching out ideas for a play. A kind of friendship thing. You know, about loyalties and gangs and stuff.”

“It sounds cool.” I smile. “I would offer to read it but I know. . .”

“. . . that I would never let you.” Amira grins. “No offence, but you know my rules. No one reads my stuff until I finish it. I’m just paranoid like that.”

“No, it’s OK – I get it. . . I would love to, when you’re ready though.”

Amira nods. “I will let you. I promise. Hey, maybe you should try it?”

“What?” I shift again, cringing as my leg brushes the grass.

“Writing. It can get lots of emotion out. You’ve been through loads, with your granddad and that. . .”

I shake my head. “Nah. It’s OK. I’m dealing with it.”

Amira sighs. It’s such a soft sound, but it irritates me.

“What?” I snap.

“Nothing. . . I just. . .” Her voice drops out of range totally. She pushes what little hair she has now out of her eyes and stares up at me. It’s hard not to be drawn in by her warm, deep gaze. “I’m really worried about you.”

“Why? I’m fine!”

Bang. Bang. Bang. I can feel my defences snap up immediately. If I was any more of a coward, I would’ve said something nasty to her by now.

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